My not so green thumb

I have to say I am really disappointed with my lawn and gardening skills lately. My lawn is yellow either from over fertilizing or the 2 week span of rain we had in May which I couldn't cut the lawn. My vegetable garden is lame with 2 tomato plants some basil and beans. Every time I plant a sunflower in the garden for Kate the damn squirrels eat them. My garden has chicken wire over the ground because a damn cat keeps going in there to drop a deuce. The front flower garden, well the tulips looked great and Kate loved them. However the squirrels decided to destroy the rest of my flowers and shove them in the ceiling of my front porch. Well I fixed them, but can't repair the damage done. Stupid animals maybe I just need to move....