Traveling

Traveling is hard. It’s emotionally draining. The actual act of traveling is easy, especially on someone else’s dime. Meals paid for, hotel, maid service, car flights all covered. But leaving your spouse, kids your life behind is hard no matter who you are. You have roots at home, lives, wives, kids, routines, homes, cars, material things. It’s all just a part of life. You take things for granted, until you leave.

You start thinking about how much you miss your life, the everyday things that often seem at times insignificant. You miss those things, crave them. Back home the ones you love miss you equally. They crave you, need you, life isn’t the same without you. It’s very hard to support them from a distance but you do your best, counting the minutes until your return. But it’s easier because you are traveling. You are experiencing new things, meeting new people. Or is it?

Spend long enough in one place and you make connections, co-workers become friends. You enjoy their company; it fills the void. You get involved in your new found friends personal stories, their struggles. You feel for them. If you stay in one place long enough you start to develop new roots, until it’s time to go home. You say goodbye to your new friends, co-workers, acquaintances and go home to the ones you love.

It’s a liberating feeling every time I walk out of a facility I have spent more than a week at. It’s like quitting your job that you adored to move on to better things. It’s bittersweet. Regardless of how emotionally draining traveling is, I still look back on the knowledge, the experiences and think how amazing my life is. I think about how fortunate I am to have these opportunities presented to me, and how lucky I am to have the life I have at home and abroad and the people in it, no matter how long the relationships are and how hard it is to leave them.

My life so far

As I close out the first 30 years of my life I have decided to reflect back and look at the knowledge I have gained that molded me into the person I am today, on the last day of my twenties.

I’ve learned to walk. Yes most of us take this for granted. We walk to work we walk home, we walk the dog, we walk to loose weight, we walk until our feet hurt, we complain about walking. The truth is, learning how to walk has laid the foundation and certainly made most accomplishments more attainable. Where would I be today if I still had to crawl everywhere? Thanks mom and dad for teaching me how to walk. If I can keep that up for the next 30 years I will be very happy and consider myself fortunate.

I learned to use the toilet. I have to say this must have been one of my most proud moments of which I have no recollection. To think, after nearly 30 years of peeing in the toilet I still can’t manage to get every drop in the bowl. I could have mastered the art of the Chinese language in that time. I give the credit to my parents again for this achievement. Using the toilet is much more sanitary than wearing a diaper. I am pretty sure one day I will regress and have to wear diapers again, hopefully not for at least another 30 years.

I learned to talk. This must have been another one of those proud moments for me. I’ve discovered how to speak and never looked back. After 30 years I would have to say that I am proficient in the English language, except when I have been drinking. I may not speak as eloquently as some individuals on this planet but I have learned to communicate and that for me is one of the finest moments of my life. Thanks again mom and dad.

I learned that Saturday morning cartoons and cereal were two of the best things in the world at this point in my life and they belonged together. Of course cartoons are not what the used to be. I grew up on He-Man, the Ninja Turtles and Ducktales. Cartoons are scary now, they don’t make sense to me.

I have learned to teach myself things. This is where life gets interesting. At this point I imagine that I started my slow descent into individuality. I began to realize there are things in this world that I want to learn and things that I want to see. Much of my childhood was spent discovering new things whether at school or play I was always learning, always soaking up knowledge. I learned how to ride a bike, I learned what it feels like to fall, I learned how to pick myself up when I fall, I learned where the Emergency Room is and how to scare the crap out of my parents. I learned how to make the right friends and how to make the wrong friends. I learned how to roller blade, sled down a hill, play baseball, pass notes in class (before texting) knock up for friends (before cellphones) and have some good old fashioned fun. I would have to say that the fundamentals of life were learned from Kindergarten through High School. Everything after that was spent refining what I had learned.

I learned how to drive. Back at it again, thanks mom and dad (mostly dad). I can fondly remember learning to drive that old 1982 blue Honda Accord with manual transmission. I would have to say this is one of the first times I had seen my dad get really frustrated. Give it some more gas he’d say or put the friggen emergency brake on! After 15 years of driving I have mastered driving manual transmission, although Kate would disagree. I could not have done it without the help of my dad. I spent much of my youth trying to look as cool as possible and drove recklessly. I spent more money on sound systems and tinted windows and lights that I care to admit. Now that I look back I realize how stupid that was.

I learned the habit of smoking, unfortunately. Throughout high school I spent much of my time trying to fit in. When I finally felt like I did, high school was over. It was time to say goodbye to the friends I had made and enemies I had hated and move on. As I moved on some of my bad habits came with me including smoking and trying to look cool. One day I realized that the people I was trying to impress were not the people I wanted to be friends with and I put down the cigarettes. I have never looked back. This was one of the best decisions I have ever made and I highly encourage it.

I learned how to move out on my own. Shortly after high school ended I turned into a “bad ass” I found pot, I drank with my friends. Eventually the person who my mom was married to at the time asked me to leave. So on my 18th birthday I moved into my Grandmom’s house. I will never forget that day. This was one event that started out a terrible situation but ended up great in the end. I had the freedom I had sorely craved, I developed a better relationship with my grandmother before Alzheimer’s ravaged her mind and she eventually passed away. I was really able to be out on my own before really being out on my own.

I learned how much fun it is to work at Friendly’s. This by far was my most favorite job ever. I like to think of this as my “college” years. Since I didn’t go to a formal 4 years college I worked after high school. I worked my ass off but had a ton of fun doing so. I made lifelong friendships working at various Friendly’s restaurants. I did things while working I never thought possible. I laughed so hard I thought I might die. I went through times of extreme stress and times of severe boredom. I saw people fall on the floor I saw Dan wash dishes in his boxers. I had a knife pulled on me and a customer jump over the counter at me. We made fun of people and the mall rats that used to come in, we called the cops when there were fights and sometimes watched instead. I made enough money and the job after high school started turning into a career. Eventually I became the acting General Manager after one of our many neurotic managers left the company. The “college” years had ended and I found myself working 50-60 hours a week at a restaurant. Fatigue set in, my back hurt so bad some days from standing for so long that I could barely walk the next day. In fact I later found out when I was getting fitted for a suit many years later my left shoulder is lower than the right, I am pretty sure this was the cause. It was time for a change. I moved to another Friendly’s location as a waiter and went to college. This was the turning point in my life. I had grown up and started to think about long term goals I had.

I learned how to work on computers at a Bank on an IT Helpdesk. This was one of the worst jobs I had ever held (second only to telemarketing) and unbeknownst to me the window of opportunity that would eventually get me the career I craved. At first it seemed like a wonderful opportunity. The bank was hiring, we were busy there was potential to become something great there. But there was an uneasiness looming in the background, the economy. After a year or more at the bank the economy tanked. They began to shut down other helpdesks, they opened one in India. These were all classic signs of a company following so many others at the time moving their IT operations to a cheaper country and streamlining labor. Ignoring all the “reassuring” words from members of management who hadn’t jumped ship yet I was presented with the possibility of a job way out in Bucks County from my friend and coworker Mike. His brother was a big shot in a healthcare company and was looking for an IT person. I took the interview and got my first real IT job. This would be the job that changed my life.

I learned the in’s and out’s of buying and selling a home. Ironically years after I was evicted from the nest I turned around and purchased it. My mom and her new found husband cut me a good deal on the home I had moved out of years ago. They moved on to live with my ailing grandmother and I was left with a real fixer upper. I had many ideas and aspirations at first. I wanted to knock out walls in the kitchen and dining room, finish the basement install central air. Eventually the reality of my budget and time set in. I did end up demolishing a good portion of the house. Much of the old plaster walls came down to make a bigger bathroom, changed the closet layout, added storage, replaced fixtures, doors all the electrical and plumbing. Many months, plenty of sweat and gallons of paint later I ended up selling the house for a nice profit. I was moving on to bigger and better things and had met what would eventually be my wife. Before I sold my house Kate moved in briefly, only to move out a few months later into her parent’s house while our new home was being built. This was an experience.

I learned how to live with my future in-laws for 3 months before our house was ready. We decided to move to Gilbertsville. We both wanted something away from the city in a more rural environment. We wanted to live somewhere we could afford. Bucks County’s high taxes and lavish lifestyle was out of the question. Delaware County was too close to the city and too little house/land for your dollar. I started looking in Montgomery County and after looking at several developments and meeting some quirky realtors we settled on a new development in Gilbertsville. The houses were exactly what we were looking for. We made our selections and patiently awaited the construction of our new home. During this time Kate and I had a wonderful summer filled with great time lots of memories and laughs. I owe a lot to the Deem’s and can never thank them enough for extending their home to us. We had such a great time at the Deem’s we almost stayed, almost.


I learned how to love the most wonderful woman in the world. After changing jobs from the bank industry to mental health I met some nice people. I found new co-workers and new friends. This is where I met Kate. She had asked me to move a fax machine for her, I was very new and wasn’t sure if I should. I was shy and told her to ask her manager. I invited her to an Eagles pre-season party I was having at my “fixer upper” of a house. She came alone (even though I invited her friend Lindsay who didn’t come because she thought her husband wasn’t invited but he was). I don’t know if it was the lack of walls in the bathroom or the lack of sheets on my bed that roped her in but we hit it off. That night we ended up kissing under the street lamp, the date was 08/08/08. Since then I have never looked back, never loved anyone as much as I love her and never shared my life with anyone the way I have with Kate. She is my everything, my best friend and my life. I love her. We were married on 12/11/10 and have made a nice little life for ourselves.


Kate and I have a wonderful life with each other. We have a beautiful home full of love. We have a great dog and I couldn’t ask for anything more. If the next 30 years of my life are half as good as the first I will be a happy almost senior.

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Mark McKee

Joan Cusack

I really cant stand Joan Cusack. I don't like the way she looks, the way she acts and expecially the way she talks. She really gets under my skin.

Aquashoes

Kate and I took a day trip to Point Pleasant today. As we walked along the water and "people watched" I witnessed the wearing of socks, sneakers with knee high socks, jeans and even a few Aquashoes.

I was never a fan of these but my parents would always make me wear them on family vacations. My parents would strap these on my feet at the beach. Sure it saved me from having to walk on hot sand, sunburned feet and the pain of stepping on shells. I would have gladly traded all that for the benefit of being more fashionable.

I can fondly remember running in the water with the shoes on, the water weighing down my feet as I got deeper in the big blue. I recall trying to jump the waves, boogie board in hand how difficult it was with rubber and mesh strapped to your feet. Eventually the Aquashoes would fill up with sand and the chaffing would cause me more pain than walking on a million broken shells on a one hundred and fifty degree day.

During the course of 6 or more hours spent in the 65 degree water, lips turning blue my shoes would fall off. I can remember being so happy to have lost them at sea until I realized....

They Float.

It's not the quantity...

Almost every day Kate and I tell each other we love one another. We say it in the morning, at work, before bed. Sometimes we say things like I miss you and can't wait to see you. Sometimes we leave little love notes for each other and sometimes we don't say anything at all.

It's those special times when you say or do something so natural to show your love that it means the most. It's those times when she can bring tears to my eyes and make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. The text reads:

"...I love you with all that I have."

How true.

I have decided to compile a list of the things I will NOT miss when we move and a list of things I will certainly miss. Here goes. This is not a complete list and will be updated:

Will NOT miss:

-The stupid people at 14 Vernon rd that have the cops here every other day for domestic violence
-The giant wood bees out front
-Parking on the street
-Parking on the lot at the top of the street
-Parking anywhere that someone has the potential to hit your car and run
-Stopping on the street to unload the car after trips to the grocery store, home depot or any store
-When it rains and you are acting on the previous item
-Looking at the abandoned house next door
-The 70 year old (no exaggeration) heater in the basement that drains my wallet in the winter
-People walking across my lawn because they are lazy
-Dragging the lawn mower through the house to mow the front lawn
-Watching the drug deals go down on this street
-The noise noise noise NOISE!
-The bar across the street
-Waiting for people to move their car parked in the street so you can leave or come home
-Waiting for the cops to move their car parked in the street so you can leave or come home
-The other people who don't maintain their lawn
-The voice of the woman across the street who is always involved in domestic disputes, rips right through my ears like a dull knife.
-The constant repairs needed to make my house livable
-The fact that I tell people to park in the LA Fitness parking lot because I am embarrassed to have them park on the street, also it's a pain to make the U turn to get here.
-Having the cops visit the street while you have guests over
-The neighbors dog that never seems to be on a leash and runs all over other peoples yards and attacks Maya when she IS on a leash
-The degenerate, low IQ population that occupies most of the street and always seem to procreate
-The renters
-Maintaining the fire escape behind my house when no one else does and it is not considered usable land.
-The wonderful views I have of a medical office building whose occupants have seen Kate and I naked on more than one occasion, the storage facility, the abandoned house and West Chester pike.
-Did I mention that law enforcement visits often?
-Driving up the steep street in the snow
-This crappy stove that doesn't light
-Having a room for our bed and a room for our bedroom furniture because the rooms are too small.
-Lack of central Air Conditioning
-The neighbors that don't work and live off welfare, glad my taxes pay for you assholes
-The Blue Route (I-476)
-The fact that because my house is 75 years old home owners insurance costs double what I would pay for a new house twice this size.


Things I will miss:
-My neighbors Mike and Julie

When I look back though it wasn't always a negative experience, contrary to what you just read. Without this crappy house I wouln't have a down payment for our new house. I wouldn't have learned how to spackel, paint, tile, fix a roof, build a fence, install a sink, install a toilet, build a closet, frame a wall, run pex plubming, perform electrical work, install doors, repair hardwood floor, lay brick, lay glass block, build a stone wall, install windows, frame out windows, maintain a budget and build a foundation for a family.

This was my practice hosue. I am ready to move on to bigger and better things.

for the love of God!!!

It has been a while since I updated my blog. In fact a while might just be an understatement. I believe this may actually be my first post for 2010. Sad that it comes in May. Nevertheless here I am 11:48 in the evening typing on the computer, Kate is fast asleep as is Maya of course. Recently my life has been completely consumed by my house. When I say consumed I mean it. I feel like my job is suffering, my relationship with Kate has become strained, I have become estranged from my friends and even my family.

For this, I can't say that I am sorry. This is life. This is what happens in life. There are good times and bad. The selling of this house and the timing was completely out of my control. Who knew it would sell in a week? Who knew that I would have to complete 30% of the projects that have been on my list for 3 years in a mere 60 days. In a short while it will all be worth it. Kate and I will be living with her parents and I am sure that it will feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There will be more problems down the road, there always will be. I will face these struggles with the knowledge that those who truly love me, those that are loyal and there for me will be there no matter what. There is one person who I would never doubt will always fulfill the above criteria.

Kate Deem I truly love you with all my heart. Everything I do, I do for us. I do it all for our future together. I know that you will always be there for me, will always love me and support me. For these reasons and more I look forward to the day that I will call you my bride, 12/11/10.