for the love of God!!!

It has been a while since I updated my blog. In fact a while might just be an understatement. I believe this may actually be my first post for 2010. Sad that it comes in May. Nevertheless here I am 11:48 in the evening typing on the computer, Kate is fast asleep as is Maya of course. Recently my life has been completely consumed by my house. When I say consumed I mean it. I feel like my job is suffering, my relationship with Kate has become strained, I have become estranged from my friends and even my family.

For this, I can't say that I am sorry. This is life. This is what happens in life. There are good times and bad. The selling of this house and the timing was completely out of my control. Who knew it would sell in a week? Who knew that I would have to complete 30% of the projects that have been on my list for 3 years in a mere 60 days. In a short while it will all be worth it. Kate and I will be living with her parents and I am sure that it will feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. There will be more problems down the road, there always will be. I will face these struggles with the knowledge that those who truly love me, those that are loyal and there for me will be there no matter what. There is one person who I would never doubt will always fulfill the above criteria.

Kate Deem I truly love you with all my heart. Everything I do, I do for us. I do it all for our future together. I know that you will always be there for me, will always love me and support me. For these reasons and more I look forward to the day that I will call you my bride, 12/11/10.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas...

2 words rattled off like some melody eternally burned into our memory. It seems most of us as humans are programed to repeat these words for about a month every 365 days a year. Merry Christmas, what does that mean?

When you wish someone a Merry Christmas what are you really offering? Peace? Love? Happiness? Christ? Do you actually care or are you just falling victim to the propaganda of the holiday season.

Having a Merry Christmas has grown new meaning to me as I have become older. It used to be about presents and seeing family. It used to be about the hustle and bustle of the big day and the anxiety of buying presents for loved ones ensuring an adequate offering of presents. The termoil of the last minute trips to the store and the family visits, always moving always going somewhere, perpetually running late.

Although I enjoy the shopping, family and events of the season I like to take a break, if only for a few minutes. I like to sit back, light some candles and put on some Christmas music. I sit back and gaze at the Christmas tree and all the presents beneath it. I look around at the things I have and for a moment I think about how lucky I am to have these things. How lucky I am to have family to visit, how lucky I am to be able to afford presents and how lucky I am to have Kate.

So when I wish you a Merry Christmas know that it comes from the heart. Know that instead of wishing you happiness on one day alone I am hoping you too take the time to realize just how lucky you are and how wonderful life truely is.

Merry Christmas.

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is."

How right you are Mr. Dylan. We as humans spend much of our young lives "finding ourselves" and determining where we fit into society. That happens earlier for some, but for me I feel like I found myself in my twenties.

I spent most of my adolescent life trying to fit in. I tried to be one of the cool kids. I tried to be one of the kids who didn't care. I tried to be one of the nerds and even a stoner (even though I hadn't tried smoking pot until I was out of high school).

As time passed and I was molded into the man I have become, mostly by circumstance but also with a little careful planning. I have found that in fact all I can do is be me, whoever that is.

I just wish someone would tell my fifteen year old brother that...

DB of the day award

So I'm on my way to work on a crisp fall morning. Temperatures at 45 degrees. Im driving down the turnpike, doing about 65 -70 and what do I see?

This guy:

Winter hat and coat buttoned up with the top down. He wins the DB award for the day..

Im 28 and I feel great!

Who ever said age is nothing but a number could not have been more wrong. I have first hand experience that can attest to the fact that this statement is false.

I met Kate back in August of 2008. We immediately made a connection and my life has not been the same since. During our time discovering each other and asking questions, the topic of my age came up. Kate wanted to know how old I was going to be on my next birthday, July 7 2009. I regretfully responded "twenty-nine". Kate accepted the answer; neither she nor I gave it a second thought. I had accepted the fact that I would be one year from thirty.

Time went by Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went. Spring went in like a lion and out like a lamb. My birthday was coming closer. We celebrated the 4th of July in typical fashion and as the days waned towards the big "29" I was more frequently probed with the question "How old will you be?" Co-workers, family, friends, acquaintances all were given the same answer, a very solemn "twenty-nine."

The big day finally came, it was wonderful. Kate got me great gifts including a Phillies grill cover and first row tickets to a game in August, she is the best! Since my birthday fell on a Tuesday I made plans with friends that we would go out for drinks on Friday for the big "two-nine"

While sitting on the outside patio deck at the bar talking with friends, Shannon had stated her brother was turning 29 this year. With some quick math she brought up the fact he was born in 1980. I turned to her and argued that I was born in 1981 and I am 29 this year so he must be older. “Impossible” Shannon replied. Meanwhile some more of my friends got in on the conversation and backed Shannon up. It was this moment that I realized I am in fact 28.

I was floored, after laughing uncontrollably for what seemed like and eternity I gathered my thoughts, wiped the tears from my eyes and performed the math in my head. I confirmed I am indeed 28 years of age. All this time I have been living a lie. "I will be 29 this year" I would say. Fortunately Kate saw the humor in this, I have been telling her I was a year older. I really thought I was.

Now I feel like a million bucks. I feel younger. Like I cheated life and gained time back. I have another year to walk this earth, to laugh and live and love life, to make a difference. I am going to enjoy this "second" year, all made possible by my own ignorance and lack of math skills.

So to who ever thought of this quote "Age is nothing but a number" I say this, try and convince the world and yourself that you are older than you are. When someone brings it to your attention you might just get a good laugh and feel great!

My not so green thumb

I have to say I am really disappointed with my lawn and gardening skills lately. My lawn is yellow either from over fertilizing or the 2 week span of rain we had in May which I couldn't cut the lawn. My vegetable garden is lame with 2 tomato plants some basil and beans. Every time I plant a sunflower in the garden for Kate the damn squirrels eat them. My garden has chicken wire over the ground because a damn cat keeps going in there to drop a deuce. The front flower garden, well the tulips looked great and Kate loved them. However the squirrels decided to destroy the rest of my flowers and shove them in the ceiling of my front porch. Well I fixed them, but can't repair the damage done. Stupid animals maybe I just need to move....

Made with real vanilla bean specs

Today I have met two of the most impressive senior citizens.

It's not that this is the first time I have met these fine people, but the first time I have witnessed them in their own home. Thriving, laughing, loving life and keeping plenty busy.

With a yard the size of a small softball field and numerous gardens to maintain the woman of the house makes her way outside when the weather is nice to facilitate new plantings, prune old growth and carry out other miscellaneous duties that accompany a lush and fruitful garden. Her husband performs maintenance on the several ponds and water attractions that adorn the yard.

These two "eighty somethings" married for what seems to be a lifetime, still in love with each other make daily trips in their vehicle to run errands, visit family and friends and shop.

Both still as sharp as a tack, "pop" makes jokes and wisecracks and loves his Schaefer beer. Grand mom reminisces about old times and loves to tell stories of when the grand kids were younger.

Yes, these two are my idols. I look up to them. I hope to be like them when I am that age. When other couples their age can occasionally become hermits or poses other disabling mental issues, these two have broken the mold and are living life to the fullest.

They are Kate's grandparents, Betty and Norman Pollock